Got the sound and everything when I switched it to the low voltage setting. That wasn't the issue (and yeah, it does feel longer than 10 seconds).
So some more on this problem. The car will accept a LiPo that has been partially discharged. I had left a fully charged LiPo over a day and a half or so in the charging sack and I guess the LiPo lost a tiny bit of charge. Car accepted it no problem and ran awesomely.
Charged the LiPo up and balanced it after it ran down and wanted to run the car again after a few hours cool down period. Car did not accept the battery at all. ESC would turn on, LED would turn green, and then blink red and shut off.
This is insanely perplexing and I am guessing the ESC is shot. My father's Slash accepts the LiPos just fine when fully charged and balanced. Going to contact Traxxas during the week and ask them what they think. ESC makes a faint electronic noise when it is on, but I'm guessing this is normal?
The one thing I find funny about these cars is that I find working on an actual car to be easier.

I'm sure some agree! The little, tiny allen keys are a real pain in the
*** to get a hold of.